Theology of the body taps into women's 'genius'

Their beauty comes from being able to give of themselves

Providing key insights into the mystery of femininity and the vocations of both men and women, Pope John Paul II's theology of the body was, in many ways, a response to the destructive understanding of women behind current misconceptions of feminine beauty.

Recently, Our Sunday Visitor talked with Lisa Lickona, a mother of six and international lecturer on theology of the body and parenting, about how the theology of the body can help women and their daughters reject cultural messages about beauty and come to a deeper understanding of their own vocation.

Our Sunday Visitor: What does the theology of the body teach us about feminine beauty?

Lisa Lickona: Both the Wednesday catecheses and the other writings of Pope John Paul II on women give us a rich picture of the origins of woman's beauty -- the special gifts or, as John Paul said, "the genius" with which God created her. The genius is the unique way she gives of herself, both physically and spiritually. Physically, you can see that in motherhood. She gives life to the baby, first in birth, then through nursing the baby. Spiritually, women give of themselves through their gift of being attentive to persons in very specific needs. John Paul II emphasized that women have that gift whether or not they have physical children. As for her body, John Paul taught that it manifests the beauty of her person, reflecting that inner disposition to give life, to nurture.

OSV: The body's ability to give life and to demonstrate love is what John Paul would call the body's greatest beauty, right?

Lickona: Right. Because the culture has been so formed by contraception we have a view of the feminine body as something to be used for pleasure, and men have been primarily trained to look at a body and evaluate it based on its sexual desirability, not its orientation to motherhood. That's a view we have to protect young girls from. We don't want them to be used, we want them to be loved, and we want them to know their beauty comes from being able to give of themselves in the service of life.

OSV: How does the Virgin Mary embody that concept of feminine beauty?

Lickona: There is no clearer model of that genius than Mary. She's daughter of the Father, mother of the Son, spouse of the Holy Spirit. And in all those different dimensions, she is the one who is beloved. Her beauty, her inherent beauty, comes from being the beloved of God.

OSV: What are some ways parents can pass on an understanding of feminine beauty rooted in the theology of the body to their daughters?

Lickona: It begins with their love, their presence and commitment to them, especially with young girls. If you think about how woman is depicted in Scripture, in the Songs of Songs, it's as the beloved. Oftentimes we lose sight of the spousal distinction that's there. Man is the "lover"; woman the "beloved."

I think because of that there's a distinct need in women's psyche to feel loved and appreciated. They need to know they're beautiful inside and out. So pour your affection on your daughters. The love between the parents is also critical. That radiates to the child the truth of who God made us to be. Spending time with children, having children at the center of your life -- that matters, too. The love of God has to be manifested through the parents. The more girls know they're loved and desired by God, the less tempted they'll be to measure their worth by what guys think of them.

OSV: How important are strong fathers to helping young women have a correct understanding of feminine beauty?

Lickona: Incredibly important. In a girl's relationship with her father she comes to understand what it means to relate to members of the opposite sex. Fathers have to be engaged with their daughters, and the notion of beauty has to be central. Fathers have to understand that their daughters want their dads to consider them beautiful. A dad can make his daughter feel like she's the queen of the universe by appreciating her inside and out, her looks and virtues. Ultimately, it's the love and engagement of the father that plays the strongest part in helping a girl know that, 'I am a gift. My dignity comes from God, and that's not just something I'm going to throw away by dressing a certain way or engaging in certain behaviors.'

In the same way, fathers set the standard for modesty. When watching a football game on television, it's a huge thing for him to register displeasure with the ads, shutting off the TV for commercials or changing the channel. The more the father witnesses that he doesn't view women as sexual objects, that he's not going to sit there and ogle women, the more likely his daughter will have a correct understanding of her worth.