Catechist Know-How September 2009

The Boy in the Back of the Room

By Mary Lou Rosien

I didn’t look forward to seeing him. He sat in the back of the room and was either distracted or distracting someone else. On a bad day he might pick his nose (totally grossing me out) on a good day he would make comments that were almost always irrelevant to what we were discussing.

I found him challenging, but forced myself to try to engage him in conversation. I attempted to be kind and loving. I looked for the best in what he said and did. He seemed to need kindness and patience.

I have several children with issues (ADHD, Tourettes, Asperger’s and learning disabilities), so I could spot a mile away that something was not quite right. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it though and I never did figure it out.

I inwardly cringed when he did something that made me uncomfortable; outwardly I smiled at him and pressed myself to be tolerant of his… um… differences. I hoped that I masked what I was feeling enough so that he wouldn’t guess how I really felt. 

Then, this little boy that I barely tolerated taught me a lesson. I was in Mass one Sunday. Students of mine, past and present, filed into church. Some ignored me, some smiled when they walked in. The boy from the back of the room was sitting up front. He looked back and caught a glimpse of me. He jumped out of his seat, ran to me and gave me the biggest hug ever! It was a beautiful moment. This little boy (that I dreaded having in my class) loved me. Completely, unabashedly, he loved me. I thought I was being so Christ-like by hiding how irritated this boy made me. I had actually congratulated myself on how altruistic I was being. Silly, stupid me. I thought I was teaching this little boy about the faith, but he taught me so much more. He taught me what real love looks like. He taught me how a small kindness to a little boy can bring about great love. He taught me not to judge someone on how they seem, but to look deeper and to judge them by the love they possess.

The lesson that little boy taught me is a lesson of humility. I, in my pride fullness, did not see his beauty. “Though the Lord is high, he regards the lowly; but the haughty he perceives from far away.” Psalm 138:6

-Mary Lou Rosien struggles to increase her trust in God daily as she and her husband raise their seven children in North Chili, NY. She is the author of Managing Stress with the Help of Your Catholic Faith (OSV Publishing, 2006).