Catechist Know How February 2007

Learning Virtues

Recently, someone was extremely unkind to my teenage daughter. They exposed and expanded upon one of her flaws and accused her of something she didn’t do. I was so angry! I was frustrated! I was ready to strike back ... when my daughter decided to respond. She sat quietly and wrote a note, then she asked me to look at it. Her answer to the criticism humbled me beyond words.

She thanked the other child for pointing out her character flaw and promised that she would work on it. Although she had not made the comment that had started this attack (in fact, I inadvertently had), she apologized for any feelings she may have hurt and committed herself to doing better in the future. My daughter taught me what the virtue of humility was.

How do we impart virtues on the youngsters entrusted to our care? Especially when we so often fall short in the practice of them? I looked at what practices helped my daughter and examined what could help me in this journey.

* Praying daily for our enemies or those who have hurt us. This increases in us the virtues of brotherly love, humility and meekness.

* Searching for the small bit of truth in the criticism of others. In this way we are encouraged to, “Take the plank out of our own eyes, rather than looking for the speck in our brothers.” My friend, Anne, has trained herself to respond by saying, “Thank you,” anytime anyone tells her she looks tired, complains about her or criticizes her.

* Giving in to others’ preferences and ignoring our own. Doing this can give us practice in small acts of charity and develops humility. We can also grow in generosity and move away from the sin of greed.

* Embracing everyday inconveniences as opportunities to grow in virtue. We can learn patience in line at the grocery store. We can learn temperance when someone eats the last cookie (and we really wanted it). We can learn diligence when someone asks us to do something, right after we sit down to rest!

Our students need support in a world of ‘me first,’ that putting others first is the Christian way to live. It is not about filling our lives with things, but about emptying ourselves to serve others, as Christ did.

Opportunities to grow in faith, hope, love and charity are everywhere. As we open our eyes to them, we can teach the children in our care to do the same. Or, as in my daughter’s case, they may teach us a thing or two.

Mary Lou Rosien is a wife, mother to seven children and is the author of Managing Stress with the Help of Your Catholic Faith (OSV Publishing, 2006).